#nowplaying: Starving (feat. Zedd) – Hailey Standfield
Tiffany flops herself on the couch inside her apartment. She just had a date with Taeyeon, her best friend since ten years ago who happens to like her the way guys like girls. It was hard for her to accept the fact at first. She did not even contact Taeyeon for a good full week but she then realized that she has been too attached to her best friend and it felt so weird for not having Taeyeon in between her days. There was no day spent without Taeyeon in her life, be it a simple phone call, the never ending chats and messages, and of course the hang outs. Taeyeon has always been with her during her ups and downs and not having Taeyeon for a week made her missing her best friend more. But after Taeyeon’s confession she also knows that every thing will not be the same anymore. So, after thinking for the whole week, she finally asked Taeyeon for a chance to like her the way Taeyeon likes Tiffany.
Her phone beeps and she takes it out from her purse. A message from Taeyeon.
“Wash up and get enough rest.”
Tiffany smiles at the text and replies immediately.
“No texting while driving, Taetae. Safe drive.”
She then takes her purse and phone to her room. Putting the purse on her working table and charge the phone before walks in to the shower. A warm shower would be nice and relaxing. She takes off her clothes and steps under the shower, adjusting the temperatures and starts showering. While showering, her mind starts to wander about her relationship with Taeyeon. They are not a couple yet. Ever since she asked for a chance to like Taeyeon back, they never takes things in a rush. It has been six months already. They go on a date once in a while, they hold hands sometimes, they have their own share of being awkward around each other, they share hugs when they are about to part, and sometimes a light timid peck on the cheek. Taeyeon is still Taeyeon just with a little bit more affections than before.
Tiffany finishes her shower and dries herself up before leaving the bathroom and changes into her pjs. The pink pjs, which she bought together with Taeyeon, while Taeyeon got the purple one. She smiles at the realization; they have a lot of couple things from matching phone cases to matching pjs. They even once had couple necklaces which was created the fuss back in their university days, saying that they were couples. She shakes her head as she continues her step to the bed and takes her phone, she opens the last message she sent to Taeyeon and sends another one.
“Done showering. Are you home already?”
She smiles again. Texting. It’s not a new thing between them to text one another at anytime. But now, she feels the needs to text Taeyeon to let the latter know about her activity, even as simple as finish showering and go sleeping.
A moment later her phone rings, showing Taeyeon’s caller ID.
“Hi.” She answers while smiling.
“Are you sleepy already?” Taeyeon’s voice from across the line sounds cheerful.
“Not yet. Are you home already?” She asks back.
“Yes, about to take a shower now.” Now there is an echo in Taeyeon’s voice.
“Are you bringing your phone to the bathroom?”
A soft gasp is heard, followed with a chuckle. “How could you know?”
Tiffany chuckles at the answer while shaking her head in amusement. “What if your phone gets into the water?”
“iPhone 7 is water resistant, don’t you know?”
Tiffany laughs softly. “But still, it doesn’t mean that you can have a phone call while showering.”
“I will call you later after finish showering then.”
Tiffany ends the phone call and puts her phone back on the nightstand. She tucks herself under the duvet and stares at the ceiling above her. Her mind plays the scene of what happens in these six months, since she asked for the chance.
“Why are you not holding my hand?” Tiffany raises her eyebrows.
“Errr, I don’t want you feel uncomfortable after I… errr… you know, confessed,” Taeyeon answers while scratching the back of her head groggily. A faint blush painting her pale fair skin.
Tiffany chuckles a little then shrugs before continues walking. She smiles to herself, finding Taeyeon is cute when she acts shy and timid like that. After ten years befriending with her best friend, she feels like finding another side of Taeyeon she hasn’t seen before the confession. Just like what just happened. It was normal for them to walk hand in hand before Taeyeon confessed to her but now her best friend seems so shy even just to be around her.
“Fany…” Her best friend calls out her name. She stops her step and turns around only to find Taeyeon still stays on the same spot.
“Uhm… I know I said I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “But, can I hold your hand?” The blush gets even more visible.
Tiffany smiles and stretches one hand at Taeyeon. “Let’s go.”
Taeyeon cannot help but to smile nervously as she takes some steps forward and takes Tiffany’s hand in hers. “You’re okay with this?” She asks as they start walks hand in hand.
“Why ain’t I?”
“Because…” Taeyeon does not finish her sentence.
“I asked for a chance, did I?” Tiffany looks at her best friend right in the eyes.
Taeyeon grins sheepishly, while stealthily interlocks their fingers. “I love you.”
Tiffany smiles but doesn’t say a word. She cannot answer that. So it is better to keep silent instead of replying it with something that she does not mean.
“I still can’t believe you let me watching cheesy movie. You usually forced me to watch cartoon or actions.”
They are in front of Tiffany’s apartment after having their movie date and for the first time in their ten-year-long friendship, Taeyeon allowed Tiffany to watch romance movie in the theatre. Taeyeon only grins while shrugging her shoulder.
“Did you try to be a gentleman?” Tiffany playfully asks but it only makes Taeyeon frowns.
“I am not a man…” She mumbles while looking at her feet.
Tiffany notices the change of mood and pats Taeyeon’s head still with playful manner. “Gentlewoman then.”
Taeyeon looks up and tries to smile even though the smile does not reach her eyes. “Is there even such a term like that?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care,” Answers Tiffany nonchalantly. “But for me you’re my gentlewoman.”
And with that, Taeyeon’s smile finally reaches her eyes. She then looks down to her feet again and mumbles shyly. “Can I get a hug before going home?”
“You’re not gonna stay over?” Tiffany questions.
“Ah, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I know, we’re best friends. But… you know…” She chuckles bitterly. “I can’t see you merely as best friend anymore.”
Tiffany heaves a sigh and steps forward before pulling Taeyeon into her embrace, which Taeyeon happily returns.
“I love you.”
Tiffany breaks the hug and smiles. “It’s late already. Go home.”
Taeyeon smiles along and nods. “Sleep well.”
“You too. Drive safe.”
Taeyeon nods once again before stepping backward and turns her body before running into her car and drives away from Tiffany’s place. Tiffany watches her best friend goes until the car disappears from her sight. She heaves another sigh and walks into her apartment. Every time she hears Taeyeon says ‘I love you’ she can’t help but to feel guilty for not being able to return the feeling.
“Fany-ah…” Taeyeon calls her best friend who is sitting on the couch, busy working with her laptop, doing whatever it is she has to do as an accountant.
Tiffany only hums in answer while fixing the glasses which just slid down her nose.
“Fany…” Taeyeon keeps calling as she doesn’t get the attention she wishes for.
“I am working, Taetae.”
Taeyeon huffs and scoots over closer so she can watch what Tiffany does in her laptop. The laptop shows some numbers that Taeyeon hardly understands. She then averts her eyes to the girl next to her and smiles at the pretty sight before her eyes: Tiffany’s with her glasses, looking smart and way prettier than she usually is. She can’t help but leans forward to land a quick peck on the cheek.
Tiffany gasps and turns her head to Taeyeon. Surprise is visible proof on her face. Taeyeon immediately stands up from the couch.
“Uhm… I…” She tries to explain.
Tiffany looks at her with unreadable expression.
“Uhm…” Taeyeon turns upon her heels, back facing Tiffany. “I can’t help. Sorry.” She obviously feels guilty for stealthily kissing Tiffany’s cheek. Ever since the confession she always asks Tiffany’s permission before doing anything, even as simple as holding hands but just now she cannot hold herself not to kiss Tiffany.
Tiffany chuckles softly and puts the laptop on the coffee table before stands up and walks towards Taeyeon. It is a lie if she says she was not surprised by the sudden peck, but she actually does not mind at all. After three months trying to accept Taeyeon’s feeling, she is getting used to her best friend’s affectionate acts. And not only that, she now has slowly accepted Taeyeon the way she is and there are voices in her head start telling her to return it little by little.
“I…” Taeyeon gulps nervously but then, a pair of hands circling her waist and she feels a pull to the back. “Fany?”
Tiffany chuckles as she back hugs Taeyeon. She pulls her best friend closer and put her chin on Taeyeon’s shoulder. “What?”
“Wh-what?” Taeyeon blushes hard. It is the first time Tiffany gives her a back hug like this.
“Why are you stuttering?” Tiffany turns her head to look at Taeyeon’s side profile and leans forward, landing a peck on the cheek.
“Fa-fany?” Taeyeon blushes even more.
“What?” Tiffany smiles teasingly. “Do you think it’s only you who can kiss me, hmm? I can’t kiss you back?” Tiffany asks while putting her chin back on Taeyeon’s shoulder. She closes her eyes and that’s when she feels something strange. She feels her heart beats a bit faster than usual but she tries not to be bothered with that. She smiles, still with her eyes closed. But then, a peck lands on her cheek again. She opens her eyes and turns her head to Taeyeon only to find her best friend grins sheepishly.
“And I just kissed your cheek again. Now, I will let you kiss me back.” Taeyeon states playfully and offers her cheek to Tiffany.
Tiffany fakes a scoff and breaks the hug. “You wish.” She chuckles and walks back to the couch but then gasps when Taeyeon suddenly back hugs her. “Yah!”
She hears Taeyeon chuckles and she feels her best friend chin on her shoulder. “What?” Taeyeon asks. “Do you think it’s only you who can back hug me?” Teases Taeyeon as she tightens her arms around Tiffany’s waist, pulling the latter closer to her.
Tiffany cannot help but to blush at the proximity. “Yah! Taetae!” She wiggles, trying to escape, earning a laugh from her best friend. Taeyeon then loosens the hug while Tiffany turns her body around to face Taeyeon and their faces are apart only a few inches. Tiffany holds her breath at the proximity. She feels her heart skips a beat.
Taeyeon notices the change of expression and takes initiative to take a step back before grinning widely, trying to eases the mood. She then pokes Tiffany’s nose.
“Yah! Go back to work, Fany-ah!” She then turns around and skips her step to the kitchen. While Tiffany still freezes on the same spot, trying to understand what happens to her.
“Fany, do you want coffee or tea?” Taeyeon shouts from the kitchen, bringing Tiffany back to her consciousness.
“What?” Tiffany shouts back.
“Coffee or tea?”
“Tea, please.” She answers as she sits back on the couch and takes her laptop, trying to focus on what she did earlier.
As soon as she starts to focus on her works, Taeyeon walks back from the kitchen and puts a cup of tea on the coffee table while she has coffee on her hand. She then sits next to Tiffany, sipping her coffee peacefully. Tiffany stops her work for a moment to take the tea from the table when she notices a post-it on the table, written:
“Sorry for making things awkward. Love you.”
Tiffany smiles as she reads and puts her laptop on the table, taking the tea instead, she then scoots closer to Taeyeon, making their shoulders brushed.
“Okay, I understand.” Taeyeon says dejectedly.
“I am sorry…” Tiffany mumbles guiltily.
Taeyeon chuckles bitterly. “It’s okay, Fany-ah. I understand. I am sorry too for making you uncomfortable.”
“Taetae, you know that’s not the point. It’s jus-…”
“Your friends questioned about us and it makes you uncomfortable, right? I understand, Fany. It’s okay, really.”
Tiffany frowns upon the answer, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. They are supposed to have a date in the coffee shop near Taeyeon’s office after works, but instead, here they are, in Taeyeon’s apartment, sitting next to each other because Tiffany requested to call off the date, saying ‘we need to talk about something’. Her friends keep questioning her relationship with Taeyeon. No matter how many times she answers that they are just friends, her friends do not believe it, even started to ask about Tiffany’s preference. And Tiffany cannot accept that. She is fully aware that she was indeed the one who asked for a chance from Taeyeon. But still, she cannot really accept the fact that if she continues with whatever it is happening between her and Taeyeon, that means she will be involved in same-sex relationship that is definitely not something common for society.
“Hey, why are you frowning?” Taeyeon’s voice sounds so warm, and it makes Tiffany feels even more guilty.
“Fany…” Taeyeon, carefully takes Tiffany’s hand in hers and gives a gentle squeeze. “Hey, look at me.”
Tiffany looks up to her best friend, and she frowns even more when she sees the genuine smile.
“Aigoo, don’t frown.” Taeyeon chuckles and pinches Tiffany’s cheek with her free hand, trying to make the frown turns into a smile. “You don’t have to do this, you know? You don’t need to try anymore, Fany. We’ve always been best friends and nothing will change that. The differences are you already know my feelings toward you, and you have tried to return the feeling. If at the end, you can’t return it, I am totally okay. I’ve been more than thankful because you are willing to try. Thank you, Fany-ah…” Taeyeon gives another gentle squeeze at Tiffany hand, still smiling, but Tiffany knows the latter only tries to look strong. She knows, Taeyeon is breaking inside.
“Hmm?” Taeyeon keeps the smile on her face.
“Can you please say that three words again?” It’s been a month since the last time Tiffany heard Taeyeon said she loves her. And for the last time she wants to know whether she can reply it or no.
Taeyeon sighs. Her heart is breaking already and by saying those three words, it will only break her heart even more. But if it is for Tiffany, she is willing to do that even if it’s her heart that is at stake.
“I love you.” Taeyeon says sincerely. Her voice is cracking at the end but she keeps her strong facade in front of Tiffany.
“I…” Tiffany tries to answer. “I lo-…” But she cannot finish the sentence and a teardrop rolls by her cheek. “I am sorry…” She eventually sobs and squeezes Taeyeon’s hand back. “I am sorry, Taetae.” The stream of tears followed after.
“Fany-ah…” Taeyeon frowns at the sight and pulls Tiffany into her embrace, trying to soothe her best friend, while she also tries to deal with her own heartbreak.
“I am sorry, Taetae.” Tiffany’s tears start to soak Taeyeon’s shirt. “I am so sorry.”
“Ssshhhh, it’s okay, Fany. It’s okay.
Awkward. That is the only word that can describe Tiffany and Taeyeon. Even though they said that everything would be the same, but both cannot help but to keep the distance between each other. Taeyeon does not want to make Tiffany feels uncomfortable with her affection, while Tiffany does not have the courage to treat Taeyeon normally because she is too afraid to break her best friend’s heart again. Their meeting frequency has lessened significantly. Their phone calls nears to only once in a week. The only thing left between them is awkwardness, and unfamiliarity.
Tiffany plays with her phone, in the middle of the night, tapping the touch screen, trying to beat her own high score when her phone beeps, signaling an incoming message. She pauses the game and opens the message. From Taeyeon.
“Fany, are you awake?”
She sighs but a small smile forms on her face. That simple message somehow reminds her of the days before the confession. When both her and Taeyeon could text each other anytime to check each other when they can’t sleep at night. The realization hits her, when she noticed the used to be normal thing they used to do now becomes something special. Deep down, she wishes things never changed between them.
She reads the message once again before finally decides to tap on Taeyeon’s name, and calls her best friend.
“Hello.” Taeyeon’s voice answers her call.
“Hi.” She smiles upon hearing Taeyeon’s voice.
“So, you’re awake.” Taeyeon chuckles softly, making Tiffany chuckles along.
“Why are you calling instead of replying my text?” Asks Taeyeon.
Tiffany hums for a moment, deciding what to answer. Honestly, she misses Taeyeon. She misses everything about Taeyeon. From their silly banters, to their cheesy interactions. But if she tells Taeyeon that she misses her, she knows she will only break Taeyeon’s heart.
“Too lazy to type.” She decides to spill a lie.
“Your thumbs must be obese by now because they never exercise.” Taeyeon chortles playfully.
Tiffany laughs upon hearing the jokes. How she misses Taeyeon’s lame jokes, how she misses her best friend’s chortles, how she misses her best friend, how she misses Taeyeon.
“I miss this.” Tiffany accidentally spills.
Taeyeon stops laughing and the silence remains. Tiffany notices her fault and is about to say sorry when Taeyeon finally replies.
“I miss you, Fany-ah.”
Taeyeon’s voice sounds sincere and weak. Knowing Taeyeon for more than ten years already, Tiffany knows that the latter must be trying hard to deal with her feelings. She takes a deep breath before answering Taeyeon.
“I miss you too, Taetae…” The answer comes out faintly.
“I am sorry for ruining our friendship.”
“Can you forget the confession I said? Can you forget everything that happened these five months? Can we just pretend that nothing has happened at all?”
“Tae…” It breaks Tiffany’s heart to hear all of those. It breaks her even more when she knows that Taeyeon really puts her heart in a string, and willing to sacrifice her feelings.
“Please? I promise I will try to erase my feelings towards you. But please, let’s pretend that nothing ever happened.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I can’t live without you, Fany. I don’t mind if you can’t return my feeling. I will do anything not to show my feelings towards you. But please, I can’t lose you.”
Tiffany feels the tears start to form in her eyes.
And the first tear breaks free.
“Please…” Taeyeon pleads, follows with a faint sob.
“Taetae, don’t cry.” Tiffany sobs along.
“I am sorry, Fany. I am sorry for having this feeling. Please, forget everything.”
Tiffany can feels her heart breaks even more. How can her best friend apologizes for her own feelings? Is it wrong to have feelings towards your best friend? Is it wrong to love your best friend? Is it wrong because they are both girls? Tiffany cannot answer all the questions in her head. And the last question pops out in her head: ’Can I love her back?’
Tiffany stays quiet as her mind wanders to the previous five months they have. Taeyeon’s affections, Taeyeon’s hand in hers, Taeyeon’s hugs, the random kisses on the cheeks, the back hugs, their silly banters, their cheesy moments. Another stream of tears wetting her cheek as she goes through the memories they have. Her heart even more aches and for the first time, she realizes that she does not only miss her best friend. She misses Taeyeon as a whole. She misses how her heart beats faster when Taeyeon kisses her or hug her, she misses how her heart skips a beat when she sees Taeyeon’s eyes. She misses Taeyeon, and not only as a best friend.
“Taetae…” Tiffany finally answers. “I can’t pretend those never happened. I can’t pretend that I don’t know about your feelings. I can’t forget these five months.”
“Can I be selfish, Taetae? Can I be selfish and ask for a second chance?”
“I can’t take another heart break, Fany-ah.”
Tiffany’s heart aches at the answer. She knows she has broken Taeyeon’s heart. And if she was Taeyeon, she knew she would not even give a second chance to herself.
“So, it won’t break your heart if we pretend nothing has happened? It won’t break your heart if we act like we never have feelings towards each other?”
Tiffany stops for a while, noticing she just mentioned that they have feelings towards each other. She sighs, how could she be stupid? How could she fail to notice? Was it denial?
“Fany? Did you say we have feelings towards each other?” Taeyeon repeats her question.
Tiffany sighs softly. “Yes…”
“Do you love me, that way?”
Tiffany closes her eyes, trying to understand her own feelings. “I still can’t answer that, Taeyeon.”
Another silence engulfs.
“Fany.” Taeyeon breaks the silence.
“I once read a quotes saying, ‘If she gives you a second chance, she’s a real keeper. Now be a man and show her why she should keep you’.” Tiffany can hear Taeyeon takes a deep breath. “If I give you a second chance, am I a keeper? I know you’re not a man, but will you show me why I should keep you?”
Tiffany can’t seem to stop the tears from falling down. “Tae…”
“Being apart from you makes me spend most of my time surfing the internet and I love to read about quotes. At least that’s an improvement, because I used to browse 9gag instead.” Taeyeon chuckles, she obviously tries to lightens the atmosphere.
Tiffany notices and heaves a sigh, “Taetae…”
“I am not finished talking, Fany.” Taeyeon interjects. “I also read another quotes. It says, I believe in second chances, I just don’t think everyone deserves them. But!” Taeyeon immediately adds a ‘but’ before Tiffany cuts her off. “There is also another quotes. It says, never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about.”
“Taeyeon-ah…” Tiffany’s lips tremble, but her heart beats faster.
“Fany, did you ask for a second chance?”
“What if it won’t work again?”
Tiffany bites her lower lips before she answers. “You said you read lots of quotes didn’t you?” She pauses. “Did you read, ‘sometimes, second chances work out better than the first because you learn from your mistake’?”
A sniff is heard from across the line, followed with a soft chuckle. “I read that.” Another chuckle. “I also read this: Giving second chance is okay. But giving third chances is stupid.”
Tiffany chuckles along. “At least you won’t be stupid if you give me second chance.”
Tiffany can hear Taeyeon’s smiling voice at the moment, signing the latter has ended crying.
“So?” She asks her best friend.
“Spare my heart this time, Fany-ah. I love you too much. Don’t break my heart again, okay?”
Tiffany smiles and nods. “Thank you, Taetae.”
“You’re welcome, Fany.”
Tiffany’s phone rings and Tiffany answers the phone without even sparing a glance at the caller ID. There might only be one person calling her.
“Hi!” She answers cheerfully.
“Why are you so energetic even at night?” Taeyeon’s voice sounds as excited as hers.
“I am just happy.”
“Why is that?”
“Just because you call me.” Tiffany answers shyly, earning a laugh from her best friend.
“I don’t care!” Tiffany sticks out her tongue to know one, she forgets that she is actually on the phone.
Taeyeon lets out another round of laugh as an answer.
“Taetae, when was the last time you stay over in my place? Or me stay over in your place?” Tiffany randomly asks.
“Was it the day you confessed to me?”
“Uhm, I guess so.” Taeyeon’s voice sounds nervous.
“I miss our sleepover,” says Tiffany nonchalantly.
“Honestly, me too…”
“What about having a sleepover this weekend?”
“You sure?” Taeyeon is surprised by the offer.
“Why ain’t I?” Tiffany raises her eyebrows.
“You know, I don’t want to make you feel uncomf-…”
“Tae.” Tiffany cuts in. “You do not make me feel uncomfortable, okay?”
“Okay, I am sorry.”
“N’ah, it’s okay. Just, relax, be yourself. It’s not our first sleepover anyway.” Tiffany tries to convince her best friend.
“But, it will be our first sleepover after you know I am into you.”
“You okay with that?” Taeyeon sounds unsure.
“Taetae. I thought by now you already know that I do-..”
“You don’t mind. I know. Sorry.” Taeyeon chuckles sheepishly and Tiffany can imagine her best friend is scratching the back of her head at the exact moment.
“So, this weekend?”
“Sure. Now sleep, Fany-ah. It’s late already.”
“Okay, you too, Taetae. I miss you already.” Tiffany curls her fingers, feeling all giddy by saying she misses Taeyeon already. But this past month, she has been trying to be as honest as possible about what she feels.
“Aaaawwww.” Taeyeon coos. “Miss you too. Good night, Fany. Sleep well.”
“Night Taetae. Sweet dream.”
Taeyeon turns off the lamp and walks towards the bed, patting Tiffany’s waist. “Yah, scoot over! Give me some space!” She states playfully. Tiffany only chuckles while scooting over to give Taeyeon enough space to sleep next to her.
Taeyeon finally stays over in Tiffany’s place, as per their discussion by phone and Tiffany has been extra excited by keep reminding her best friend not to forget about the sleepover appointment. Tiffany’s friends keep asking about her relationship with Taeyeon but Tiffany is no longer bothered by them. She only shrugs and says they’re definitely more than friends since they’ve known each other for more than ten years.
“Why do you always choose cheesy movies every time we have DVD night?” Taeyeon asks as she slips herself under the duvet.
“They are romantic! Not cheesy, Taetae.” Tiffany protests in return.
Taeyeon laughs while fixing Tiffany’s duvet. “Whatever.” She then leans in to land a soft kiss on Tiffany’s cheek. “Good night, Fany.”
Tiffany feels her tummy twist a bit at the simple contact and she can feel her own heartbeat starts to race. “Good night, Taetae.” She answers and closes her eyes when she feels Taeyeon’s hand grabs hers and slowly intertwining their fingers. She smiles at the simple gesture, silently enjoys it.
“Can I do this?” Tiffany hears Taeyeon’s voice, asking her a question.
“Can you hug me, instead?” She asks back. She feels her cheeks get warm, maybe it is redden by now.
“Ah?” Taeyeon gasps softly. “Hug you to sleep? Like cuddling?”
Tiffany opens her eyes and looks at her best friend. She then laughs when she sees Taeyeon’s surprised expression. “Yah! We’ve known each other for ten years! Why are you so shocked because I ask you to hug me to sleep?” She pulls her hand from Taeyeon’s and shoves her friend playfully.
“I just don’t want to make you uncom-…”
“Tae, don’t continue.” Tiffany stops Taeyeon for telling the same thing over and over again. “I won’t ask if I feel uncomfortable.” She then scoots closer and leads Taeyeon hands to wrap around her waist before tucking herself under Taeyeon’s chin. “Why are you so small but also so warm?” She asks while wrapping her own arms to Taeyeon’s waist. She can feel Taeyeon tenses but she does not say a thing about it.
“Maybe I am a heater in disguise.” Taeyeon answers nervously.
Tiffany giggles but then pulls away a bit, just enough to be able to see Taeyeon’s face. “Why are you still so careful around me? And please don’t answer with your ‘I don’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable’ because you are supposed to know by now that I feel really comfortable with you.” She looks at Taeyeon with a serious expression.
Taeyeon smiles and taps Tiffany’s nose. “That’s the only reason, Fany. I am glad that you feel comfortable around me. But, I don’t want to do any wrong move that can make you drift away from me.”
“Is that why you never kiss me again?”
“I just kissed you goodni-…”
“I mean on the lips.” Tiffany interjects. A blush visible on her cheeks. “The last time we kissed was when I asked for a chance and it was six month ago.” Tiffany still clearly remember that light peck she give to Taeyeon when she asked for a chance.
Taeyeon smiles and puts her arm back to Tiffany’s waist. “There will be a time for it. I don’t mind to wait.” She states as she closes her eyes, trying to sleep.
Tiffany frowns at the answer and shifts a bit to position her head align with Taeyeon’s as her best friend closes her eyes. It has been a while since she sees Taeyeon up close. She notices some changes. Taeyeon’s jaw is getting sharper, her dark brown hair compliments her fair skin, her thin upper lips, and every tiny features of Taeyeon’s face doesn’t go unnoticed by Tiffany. Her gaze then falls upon Taeyeon’s lips and she slowly leans forward minimizing the gap. She closes her eyes while keep moving forward, slowly but surely. She feels Taeyeon’s breath tickles her skins and finally their lips meet. She can feel her stomach twirl upon the contact and she lets out a dreamy sigh before breaking the kiss.
Tiffany slowly opens her eyes and the first things she sees is Taeyeon’s shocked face. Taeyeon’s face is very red and she keeps blinking her eyes.
“Did you just kiss me?” Taeyeon finally asks.
Tiffany nods shyly but then smiles softly. The moment their lips touched, even though it was very short, she feels butterflies in her stomach. Maybe, she has been in denial all of these times, maybe the feeling is always there but she does not want to admit it. Maybe, she can finally return Taeyeon’s feeling.
“Close your eyes again.” Tiffany requests.
“W-why?” Taeyeon definitely has not recovered yet from her shock.
“Just close it.” Tiffany asks sternly.
Taeyeon finally does as she requested and closes her eyes again.
Tiffany then puts one hand cupping Taeyeon’s cheek while inching forward again. Their lips meet for the second time today but Tiffany does not pull away just yet. Instead, she deepens the kiss and starts to slowly parting her mouth to capture Taeyeon’s lips into a more proper kiss. She can feel Taeyeon tenses at the kiss but there is something she can feel better: her heart races so fast, and the butterflies in her stomach go crazy.
She gently tugs Taeyeon’s lips in between hers, signaling her best friend to respond to the kisses. Taeyeon gets the signal and responds the kisses as gentle as she can. Tiffany cannot explain what she feels at the moment with any words she knows. Taeyeon’s soft lips against hers feels just right. And she wonders, why was she hesitated all these times?
Tiffany finally breaks the kiss when she feels the needs for some air inside her lung. She opens her eyes and she sees Taeyeon still has her eyes closed, but a smile is drawn on her face. She traces Taeyeon’s lips with her thumb.
“Taetae…” She calls out softly.
Taeyeon opens her eyes and smiles even wider. The most sincere smile Tiffany has seen in these past six months and her heart melts upon the sight.
“I love you, Taeyeon-ah…”