#nowplaying: Rainbow Connection – Weezer, Hailey Williams

The rain has stopped just a moment ago, leaving only some drizzles tapping on the window. Taeyeon is sitting on her bed, inside the plain white room she has been occupied for six months now. Her gaze falls upon the small window at one side of the wall which has some traces of the raindrops from the outside. Every time the rain comes she always looks at the window, enjoying the melody of water tapping on the window, watching every single drop of the rain making contact with the glass surface, while waiting for something she has always been waiting: the rainbow.

Her lips curved into a small smile when her eyes catch the sight at the end of the highest building she can see from the window. Hues of seven spectrums drawn beautifully in the sky.

“Rainbow…” She mumbles at herself.

“What’s so special about you, rainbow?” She asks. “Why people really love you, even make songs about you?” She throws the questions to no one. Rainbow has always been something that intrigues her for as long as she remembers. For some people, rainbows are something magical, something that promises something at the end of it. The myth she once heard says that the end of the rainbow is where leprechauns hide their pots of gold, which she finds silly. Do the leprechauns even exist?

The arch of colors starts to fade bit by a bit and Taeyeon keeps her eyes upon it. Rainbows are magical. Even though it seems real, it is actually only illusions. They are only reflection, refraction, and dispersion of light in water droplets resulting in a spectrum of light appearing in the sky. Science explains it well but people still hold hopes and wishes upon the optical illusion. And Taeyeon, just like most people out there, she holds on to the believe that there is something magical about rainbow.

Rainbows are hope. People also believe that rainbows promise better days ahead. There’s always a rainbow after the rain. Being heard of a rainbow coming signifies a better future, directly telling a hopeful tomorrow.

“Is it true that you promise a better tomorrow?” Taeyeon asks indistinctly.

For as long as she remember, she’s been through the rain. The heavy one to be exact and she has not seen any rainbows afterwards. She has been questioned herself, is it true that better days will come to her? The day when she will no longer feel lost, the day when she will no longer feel lonely, the day when she will finally live the life she used to live.

“Are you talking to the rainbow, Taeyeon?” A soft voice suddenly heard in the room.

Taeyeon turns her head and finds Tiffany leans against the door, smiling at her, the breathtaking smile that shapes her eyes into two beautiful archs, just like the rainbows. The smile that seems so radiant in Taeyeon’s eyes that she will automatically smiles along when she sees the smile.

“Do you believe in leprechauns, Fany?” She asks as she returns her gaze to the almost invisible rainbow from the window.

“Leprechauns?” Tiffany raises her eyebrows, signing she is engrossed by the sudden random question Taeyeon threw at her.

“Why do people believe in the magic of rainbows? Some say, they have leprechauns’ pot of gold at the end of it, some believe that rainbow means better days ahead. Do you believe in all that?” Taeyeon keeps staring at the window even though the rainbow is now no longer there.

“Do you believe in morning star, Taeyeon?” Tiffany asnswers with another question.

Taeyeon stops staring at the window and now put her full attention to Tiffany who still stands against the door. “Morning star?”

“Yes, people believe that your wish will be answered when you wish upon the morning star.” Tiffany stares out to the window. “Rainbows and morning stars. We all know that they are just natural phenomenon, inanimate objects. But still, people believe there is something magical about them. Do you also believe in that?” She then shifts her gaze back to look at Taeyeon who seems to be absorbed by her question.

“They reflect hopes, Fany.” Taeyeon answers. She emits a deep audible breath. “For me, who has stuck in this room for months, only rainbows that makes me believe that there are better days wait for me ahead.”

“Have you given up logic?” Tiffany takes some steps forward, to the small window across the door.

Taeyeon chuckles in answer, while shaking her head. “You won’t understand.”

“Explain to me so I can understand, then.” Tiffany requests as she finally reaches the end of other wall and leans her back against the wall next to the window.

“Have you been half asleep and heard voices calling your name and telling you things?” Taeyeon asks back. She slowly gets off the bed and walks slowly towards Tiffany.

“Tae, you’re not supposed to get off the bed.” Tiffany warns, takes some steps to Taeyeon who seems trying hard to take every step towards her.

“I am okay, Fany. The doctor says I should try walking more often.” She ensures, continuing her step.

Tiffany stands still, letting Taeyeon to take one step at a time until the latter reaches the window. Once Taeyeon reaches the window, she drags her feet to another end of the window from Tiffany’s spot, so she can lean against the wall by the window.

“Are you okay?” Tiffany asks in concern.

“Totally fine. My condition has gotten better as days goes by.” Taeyeon raises one hand and makes a peace sign with her index and middle finger.

“You’re still a dork.” Tiffany chuckles at the small cute gesture Taeyeon made.

“Your dork.” Taeyeon grins.

Tiffany only smiles at the remarks. “So, what about the voices calling your name and telling you things?” She asks about Taeyeon’s previous question.

“I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it. I believe it’s something I am supposed to be.” Answers Taeyeon unhesitatingly.

“Something you’re supposed to be?” Tiffany asks again.

“It sucks, Fany. To stay here in this plain boring white room for months. I don’t know when will I be able to walk freely out there. And when the voices telling me, ‘don’t give up, Taeyeon. There are better days ahead. Don’t lose hope. Don’t lose faith.’ And every time the rain comes, I always wait for the rainbow, because people say, there’s always a rainbow after the rain. I have my share of rain, and I am waiting for my rainbow to come. That’s why, it brings hope for me. It always brings hope to me.” Taeyeon smiles sadly. “But there is something else I always wait beside the rainbow after the rain.”

Tiffany keeps the smile on her face while looking at Taeyeon into the eyes. “What is that something.”

“It’s you.”

Tiffany laughs. The melodious laugh Taeyeon loves to hear beside the melody of raindrops.

“Cheesy, Taeyeon-ah!”

Taeyeon laughs along but then she continues her speech. “So, Fany. Every time I see the rainbow, and every time I see you, it makes me once again believe. It makes me want to keep holding on to something I believe. Just like what the voices told me.”

“And what is it that you believe?” Tiffany straightens her position and walks toward Taeyeon until they are only inches apart, face to face.

“That I will someday get out from this place.”

Tiffany nods.

“That you still love me and we are lovers.”

“You know I love you, Taeyeon.” A faint smile is drawn on Tiffany’s face.

“And that you are real, Fany-ah…”

Tiffany only smiles and nods once again. She is about to say something when she hears footsteps from outside the door. “I think he is coming again.” She tells Taeyeon with a frown.

Taeyeon looks sullen. “Are you going to go now?”

“I need to, Taeyeon.” Tiffany answers dejectedly. “He won’t be happy if he knows that you talk to me again.”

“But…”

“I am sorry. But I need to leave.”

“Will you come again tomorrow?” Taeyeon immediately asks before Tiffany goes.

“Do you want me to be here again tomorrow?” She asks back.

“You know the answer, Fany.”

The smile appears on Tiffany’s smile. “I will, then.”

The door suddenly opens, revealing a middle-aged man wearing white coat. The man seems surprised when not finding Taeyeon on the bed but then smiles when she finds Taeyeon stands against the wall next to the window across the door.

“Hi Taeyeon. What are you doing there?” She walks toward Taeyeon.

“Standing.” Taeyeon answers coldly.

“You should stay in your bed. Your legs haven’t been fully recovered.” The man then tries to help Taeyeon gets back to the bed.

“I can do it by myself, Doc.” Taeyeon refuses as she walks limply back to her bed. She slowly puts her legs up and finds the most comfortable position to sit on the bed.

The man waits patiently until Taeyeon finds the comfortable position before walks closer to the bed and stands right next to the bed. “Does it still hurt when you try walking?”

“Just a bit.” Taeyeon replies indifferently.

“Why are you walking and standing by the window then?” The man tries his best to keep his friendly tone.

“Talking to Tiffany obviously.” Taeyeon rolls her eyes in annoyance. “She really doesn’t like you. Every time she hears your footsteps, she will immediately go away.”

The man’s face turns sour for a moment but he immediately puts his friendly expression again before smiles warmly at Taeyeon. “Taeyeon, we’ve talked about it before. Tiffany is n-…”

“Stop telling me that she is not real, Doctor! She is not dead in the car accident! She is fine! Totally fine! She was here with me! We were talking about rainbows and morning stars but then you came and she ran!” Taeyeon yells at the man and looks away. The man always irritates her and she feels really uncomfortable when he is around.

The man takes a deep breath and nods accordingly. “Okay, I am sorry about that. Now, let me check you up.” He says and starts examining Taeyeon, starts from her head to toe. “Any pain that bothers you? No more pain in your head?”

Taeyeon shakes her head.

“Can you raise your arms above your head?”

Taeyeon tries to raise her right hand and it reaches above her head but when she lifts her left hand, it stops when reaches half way. “Only the right hand.” She mumbles dejectedly.

“What about the legs?”

“It still hurts every time I walk. Can you heal me faster, Doc? I am getting sick of staying in  this room.” She snaps.

The doctor smiles and nods. “You’ve progressed well, Taeyeon. Maybe you will be able to go home soon.”

“Same lies everyday.” Taeyeon scoffs, refusing to look at the man.

“I guess that’s all for today. If you need anything, call the nurse, okay?” The man keeps smiling but decides not to respond Taeyeon’s bitter words.

Taeyeon stays silent as the man walks out the door. Once she has left alone, she looks around and when her gaze falls at the window, she smiles immediately when she sees Tiffany is still there, leaning by the window, smiling at her.

“You’re still here!”

“I am.”

***

The man in white coat just closed the door when he hears Taeyeon’s voice from inside the room.

“You’re still here!”

The man closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before continues walking through the hall while fishing his phone from inside his white coat. He scrolls through his contact and makes a call.

“Hello Mr. Kim. This is Dr. Lee speaking.” He speaks to the person across the line.

“I want to tell you about Taeyeon’s condition. Her physical condition is progressing really well.” He pauses as he hears how Mr. Kim sounds happy hearing the news about his daughter.

“Yes, the physical impact because of the car accident has been mostly recovered. She will only some more therapy session for her arms and legs.” He takes another pause and takes a deep breath.

“But Mr. Kim,..” It is not going to be easy to tell Mr. Kim about what he needs to say at the moment. “Taeyeon psychological condition hasn’t gotten better. She still cannot accept the fact that Tiffany is gone. She still believes Tiffany is still alive and visits her in her room.”

---

← Previous Song: Starving

Next Song: Bad Things →

---